Saab..Angrezi malum?

I hate the corporate white monkey (you know who I am talking about, don’t u?). You think you are the smartest a** around. I think otherwise.
For one you can’t seem to accept that your accent is fake and anybody can tell. USA and Australia can give you two very different accents- provided u stay there for more than a couple of days every few months. Speaking slowly and deliberately can also convey that you are too dumb get quick vocabs.
And boss! mobile users use the network not your raw decibel to communicate across miles. And for god’s sakes we don’t need to know what time you intend to get into bed (nobody is interested! Pun intended!).
Where in the godforsaken geographical regime did a ‘Gora’ teach you to wear goggles in an air-conditioned cabin.
And oh yeah! In the meetings: ‘I prefer’ ‘I don’t like’ ‘ I want you to’ is not what I am here for; let’s talk about the company. If I missed on the length of the call- no accident! Will anything I say alter that?
And boss! Diplomacy is one deal; and repeating what you hear on the corporate sitcom is another (why do we even bother to ask questions?)
And hey! Who are you kidding sweets! We don’t have parties so that you can get drunk and pat everybody on the back for every line of code they wrote and to see to what great lengths you can prove yourself to be patronizing; and for Christ’s sakes don’t spill that drink (expensive u know).
Maybe you slept right through the culture practise sessions when they asked you not to slurp up your coffee. And boy (old)! Coffee and fag can give you bad breath. Spare me!
We don’t have bad memories; we remember exactly when it was that you were mud slinging and back stabbing. So quit the jargon on professionalism.
Lovely mobile, lovely shirt and lovely tie: the single knot at least shouldn’t be rocket science.
Yes! You’re next to Saint Bill Gates in your exceptional intelligence and tactfulness; but somehow my baby sister feels she is more brilliant.
And last but not the least. We had moral stories during first grade that said ‘Lying will take you to hell’.
They say a watched kettle never boils. Damn! So I will pretend I am working mean while.